Exercises in Positive Psychology

Randy Martin, PhD

www.PositivePsychologists.com

Three Good Things:

At the end of each day, write down three things that went well during the day.  Do this every night for a week.  The three things you list need not be major events; they could be anything from making a meal you really enjoyed to your spouse picking up your favorite dessert on his way home from work.   Think of three things that went well and, after each positive event on your list, answer in your own words the question “Why did this good thing happen?”  For example,   you might conclude that your husband picked up your favorite dessert “because he can be really thoughtful” or “because I remembered to call him from work and remind him to stop by the grocery store.”  Studies of this exercise have shown that counting one’s blessings increases happiness and decreases symptoms of depression for up to 6 months of follow-up.  And, participants who continued the exercise beyond the suggested 1 week experienced longer-term benefits.

Writing Your Own Legacy

Think ahead to your life as you would like it to be and how you would like to be remembered by those closest to you.  What accomplishments and/or personal strengths would they mention?  What is your legacy?  Your response should not be modest, but you should also try not to fantasize.  Look back over what you have written, and ask yourself if you have a plan to bring about your legacy that is realistic and within your power.   After you’ve finished writing, put aside what you have written and keep it somewhere safe.   Read it again a year from now, or 5 years from now.  Ask yourself whether or not you have made progress toward achieving your goals, and feel free to revise it if new goals have emerged. 

We all have things we want to do “someday;” goals we hope to achieve, places we’d like to visit…when we “have time.”  However, we may find that we will never have time unless we make time.  This exercise forces us to envision our future and really think about how we’re going to fulfill our hopes and dreams. 

You at Your Best

Write a story about an event that brought out the best in you.  Review this story every day for a week.  Look at what made you “shine” in this story, and find ways to replicate this experience/use the signature strength(s) that brought out the best in you.

Gratitude Letter

American society seems to lack gratitude rituals: formal ways of expressing thanks to those who have done well by us.  The simple act of writing a letter expressing gratitude toward someone has been shown to be highly rewarding for both the recipient and the sender.  Try writing a gratitude letter to someone special in your life.   If possible, deliver it personally; they work 100% of the time in that the recipient is moved and the sender feels gratified. 

Random Acts of Kindness

Random Acts of Kindness (RAKs) are altruistic acts.  Some examples of RAKs include:

·         Letting someone cut in front of you in line

·         Paying the toll of the person behind you

·         Sending a funny note/card to a friend “just because”

·         Giving your partner an unsolicited foot massage, or creating a mix CD for your coworker

These seemingly minor acts can give people a real boost.    Not only do they brighten someone else’s day, but they also contribute to our own feeling of SWB.  Try doing one RAK every day for a week.   After trying this exercise for a week, you may find that it becomes part of your daily routine!

Savoring

All too often we rush through our days without taking time out to savor the things we enjoy.  Take a moment and try to think of one thing that you savored today or this week.  Then, try to make time  to savor something at least once a day, even if it’s only for a few minutes.   Here are some exercises to improve your ability to savor:

• Share with others:  Tell others how much you value the moment.
• Memory-building:  Take mental or actual photographs, or bring souvenirs from the experience to remind you of it.
• Self-Congratulation: “Tell yourself how impressed others are” and don’t be bashful about feeling pride.
• Absorption:  allow yourself to get immersed in an activity you enjoy.  Being so completely immersed in an activity that we’re unaware of things going around us/lose track of time has been described as flow –some people might achieve “flow” while involved with a project at work.  Other examples of “flow” activities could include yoga, painting, writing, running, cooking...any activity that allows you to become fully immersed in it – the list is endless!  

Web Sites on happiness:

http://www.happier.com .  A website for the general public with articles, tools, videos, and happiness plans, featuring some of the preeminent Positive Psychology experts across the globe.

http://www.positivepsychologists.com.  Dr. Randy Martin - Positive Psychologist in Westchester County, NY.  Dr. Martin uses a strength-based, solution-focused brief therapy approach that is impactful and effective. 

http://www.authentichappiness.org.  This Web site is associated with Martin Seligman’s (2002) trade book on positive psychology, Authentic Happiness, and contains many positive psychology surveys that can be taken on-line.

*Exercises and Web site information taken from “A Primer in Positive Psychology” by Christopher Peterson, 2006 and other sources.